Tag Archives: The Ballad of Rock Kickass

The #WLPC Ballad of Rock Kickass

(Sing in your head as if it were a semi-spirited Charlie Daniels’ tune cross-bread with Shawn’ Mullin’s “Rockabye”.)

He went on down to Austin to hang with the Wi-Fi stars
But took ill on the way, had to pass on the meals and the bars
By day he filled his head with wireless wonder
But at night as he shook with pain, wondered if it was a fatal blunder
And in the distance, a dark shape formed on the waterfall

He saw Trent man-handle an AirMagnet file
And was happy to see Buckey and Charlie’s big smiles
But when the talkin’ was done, the pain played it’s part
And he wondered’ bout the shape of Death’s own Smith chart
And the dark form got clearer on the waterfall

Rock Kickass was out for a good Wi-Fi time, but it don’t always come true
Faced death a long way from home despite having his drivers up to date
Ain’t much could helped the man, not even 802.11u

It’s a crazy old world, despite good WLAN tools
And the Reaper don’t suffer the best of Wi-Fi fools
So even while Jussie laid down some Ekahau
Rock felt like he could go down any damn minute now
And he saw the cloak and scythe on his own waterfall

But Rock wasn’t going out easy, not in some Texas hotel
He switched to wide channels, and told Death to go to hell
He swallowed two 11ac USBs and his nostrils started to glow
It’s just a shame there was no else in the room to see the show
He breathed Heaven’s own RF as the spooky waterfall began to slow

(Repeat Chorus)

But Rock was still week, and so he cut and ran
He made an escape while Death was makin’ a new channel plan
Kickass slipped on North home, happy to have seen the stars
And at the next go round, he’ll make the meals and the bars
And Death’s waterfall faded into the Texas night

Yeah Death’s waterfall faded into the cold Texas night.