So I’m down by the docks eating a chicken tartar sammich and this lady walks by… She’s acting all aloof, but then I see her pause about twenty steps past me. Here it comes- I’ve been through this at least a hundred times (even after the judge told me to knoock it off). I take another swig of my tuna colada and try to act like I don’t notice her sidling back towards me.
Psst. Uh.. sir? Buddy- I’m looking for-
Yeah, I KNOW what you’re looking for, Little Mamma. It’s what everyone down here in this crap neighborhood is looking for. A cute little wireless router.
I says to her “Don’t worry, Chiquita. I got what you need… It’ll be about $21.” I could tell she was nervous. “Relax” says I, “there ain’t no cops around. And if there were, they wouldn’t care. They only bust SD-WAN pushers these days”. Then she asked to see it.
She liked the USB power, and rightfully speculated that whatever this thing is, it was probably only 2.4 GHz. And it was small enough to hide easy. Anywhere. Anywhere.
I told her it was the Mango Mini Smart Router from GL.iNET. They got other routers, but this one is freakin’ MANGO, and that shit matters in this part of town.
She was interested, but I didn’t see cash in her hand yet. I’m like “what’s the deal? You want it or not? I’m trying to eat my lunch here.” She wanted screenshots of the UI. “Are you freakin kidding me?”
I could see her wheels turning… she was digging that it ran Open-WRT under the hood. And Open VPN. She went for it, and pulled out the money- but not before asking one last question: I can connect this to another WLAN instead of Ethernet on the Internet side, right?
This gal had plans. “Yeah, you can do that. Or hook it up to a 4G modem. Plug a goddam USB stick into it for ghetto NAS- I don’t much care what you do with it.”
Before she hustled off, she asked me where I found out out about this cute little router. Funny story, that. But this is a funny business at times.
I was working uptown, for The Man. I found a rogue wireless signal on a big ol business wireless network and needed to collar it. It had this funky GL.iNETblahblah SSID, so I put on my Google shoes and got wise.
The rest is history. She got Mango, and I got enough coin for more chicken tartar.
Livin’ the dream.