Coleman and Westcott Have Lost Their Freakin Minds

Cover art

Evidently it’s not enough to just put out a book any more. It’s not enough that the CWNA fifth edition study guide (for the CWNA version 107 exam) is 20 chapters deep of up-to-date foundational knowledge that will serve anyone even remotely involved with Wi-Fi as an indispensable reference. And it’s not enough that buying this thing gets you access to flash cards and practice tests and real-world perspective from WLAN vets and such…

Oh no. None of that is sufficient. The authors of this book had to take it further. Much further. What is delivered in quality general wireless and specific 802.11-related knowledge has been paired with what can only be summed up as… girth.

I ordered mine earlier in the week from Amazon. I’m a CWNE, sure, but I don’t know it all. I rely on a number of resources to keep my own body of knowledge fresh, hence the purchase of the fifth and latest edition.

But this acquisition was different. It was strange. And I’m still trying to process the whole ordeal.

I placed my order, and like a happy idiot went about my business expecting to see an Amazon box on my front stoop in a couple of days. Instead, I got a call. A really odd call… a Major Hamilton from the New York Army Reserve rang me up and said he needed to talk about a delivery his unit was contracted to do. He voiced concerns that my half acre of yard at home may not be sufficient for the book delivery. Um… OK- I have a couple of acres at camp. Will that work? And so… it was on.CWNA Heavy

As the book was set down, an excited crew member jumped out so I could sign for it. He had his own opinions on the size of the book…

“That’s a bigass book, sir” Yeah, I see that.

“Something that big ought to have it’s own zip code” That’s funny. Ha ha.

“Be careful falling asleep with that thing, it could fall off both sides of the bed” Nice. OK.

“Put a sheet over that book and it could go out on Halloween as Antarctica” Cute. Are we done? Don’t you have someplace else to go with your stupid Chinook helicopter?

Now that I have this book (in a rented aircraft hangar), I’m starting to dig on the particulars. It turns out that this version of the study guide weighs in at 9,300 lbs (4,200 kg), and has over six billion pages.

Where it talks about “noise floor”, the authors had to use heavy duty jacks just to support the weight of the text. It has antenna patterns bigger than the entire state of Maine, and NOAA actually flies C-130s into the chapter about Cloud services. This isn’t a book, it’s a way of life.

I read in the forward that this fifth edition is not sold within 50 miles of the coast because it can legitimately influence the tides. There is a warning about keeping metal objects at least three feet away, because this book has it’s own gravity. One copy rolled off a cargo ship in rough seas in the South Pacific, and China promptly built an airstrip on it.

Coleman and Westcott have no idea the havoc they have created with this CWNA study guide.

5 thoughts on “Coleman and Westcott Have Lost Their Freakin Minds

  1. rodkey

    I’ve seen this book. I was drawn to it like a moth to the flame. How does one even publish such a massive tome?

    Thanks for cheering up my morning.


  2. David Coleman

    Bwaaa-haaa-haa! As usual, a great and funny blog post Lee. I love the picture of the helicopter lifting the book!

  3. Naveen Hiregoudar

    haha.. loved it. Especially the Halloween & gravity part :-p
    I’ve asked my friend to get it for me from US to India. Yeah, you can imagine, she will never be my friend again, ever! 🙂


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